Sociopath
by Chesra Talasei
Summary: Hisoka, while in the library, reads a dictionary, when he encounters a word that he believes describes him perfectly.


**Sociopath  
**  
Summary: Hisoka, while in the library, reads a dictionary, when he encounters a word that he believes describes him perfectly.  
  
Disclaimers: Don't own, don't sue. Duh.  
  
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**Chapter One: Musing**  
  
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It was lunch time, and since I had finished my lunch quite quickly, (believe me, seeing Tsuzuki wolf down more than 50 pastries in less than a minute _will_ make you lose your lunch) I decided to do what I loved most—well, next to sitting on the windowsill and listening to the rain, anyway—reading.  
  
Reading always soothed me, for some strange unknown reason. It attracted me to spend non-rainy days in the library, combing it for history books about demons and supernatural creatures. Why that certain subject always sparked interested within me, I have yet to find out.  
  
But while as I was searching for another book specializing on demons, I encountered a book that you would normally find in the library. A small pocket dictionary. With a piece of paper sticking out.  
  
Since I'm naturally curious, (yes, curiosity did kill the cat—_how did you think I die!?!?!_) I opened the book. To my disappointment, I found out that the piece of paper was empty, and simply marked a page that held no importance whatsoever.  
  
As I moved to return it back to the shelf, a word caught my eye. It was not noticeable or anything, there was no distinction of it with the other letters, but it just caught my interest.  
  
Sociopath.  
  
This word seemed to describe me perfectly.  
  
As the dictionary quotes, **so-ci-o-path, n. **_an aggressively antisocial psychopath._  
  
Now, I know that you would immediately assume that I was talking about Muraki or some other freaky villain of sort, because quiet and solemn Hisoka Kurosaki could _never_ be aggressive, much less psycho-ish. Maybe a little antisocial, but never a sociopath.  
  
But I disagree.  
  
It's true, maybe that certain word would describe Muraki better, but simply psychopath, _not sociopath_, is the correct term for him.  
  
**Psy'cho-path (path') n.** _one who has a severe mental disorder with antisocial behavior.  
_  
See?  
  
Psychopath is literally synonymous with Muraki. I mean, the guy wants to resurrect his brother then be the one to kill him himself, for Pete's sake. Who wouldn't think this person is mental?  
  
Anyway, back to my explanation.  
  
How can you call the good and intelligent Hisoka a psychopath?  
  
Well, for starters, I **do** have a severe mental disorder. Do you think being able to read the feelings and minds of people _isn't_ a disorder? Well, think again, you morons.  
  
Then again, reading minds is quite impossible. The only way to read minds is to read their emotions. The mind is not a book, ready to be open and scanned at any time. No. Each mind has its' own maze, twisting and turning, past and present mixing together, confusing the reader. Only the _owner_ of the mind can really read his mind. Mind readers don't exist. Believe me in this one. No human can read minds. Maybe God can, but not us.  
  
So anyway, this just proves that I **am** a psychopath. The two words that describe it defines me quite correctly. Argue with me? Then let's talk later, when I'm done explaining.  
  
Let's go to antisocial. You might say that this is the only word that can even describe me properly in the word sociopath. No need to really explain. From Tsuzuki to Terazuma, all my coworkers can promptly tell you that I am, indeed, antisocial. It's really obvious. You've got to be either blind or really stupid to miss this. The most you can get out of me is a rant about how Tsuzuki can be so careless. Honestly.  
  
Finally, the word aggressive. Now, some of you might stand up and passionately declare that Hisoka is the complete opposite of aggressive. He's more of the thinker, keeping feelings to himself, and never hurting others. In fact, if asked to describe me the first time you've seen me, people will answer drop-dead gorgeous (no pun intended—and I'm not being narcissistic), effeminate and standoffish.  
  
_ Think again, you sexist jerks!  
_  
I **am** aggressive. First time I met Tsuzuki? Yep, I pointed a gun straight at him, broad daylight. Half the time I meet up with Muraki, I get evil inklings to tear him apart. The reason why I don't seem aggressive is because there's really no point of it, or the people whom I wish to be aggressive with, like the people I hate (aka Muraki) or the people who hate me (aka my parents), are currently nowhere near me.  
  
Let's get one thing straight: I'm aggressive, not a warfreak. Aggressive people get mad at people they are mad at, and tend to take the first step in hurting that person. Warfreaks get mad at **everyone**, and **tend to take the first _shot_ in _killing_ that person**. Get the difference? Aggressive also means assertive and determined, and I'm assertive and determined, too. How do you think Tsuzuki and I even finish a mission without him overspending? That's also part of being aggressive—if you doubt me, go and look it up in a dictionary or thesaurus. This proves that I am aggressive, in my own little way. I'm not in a delusion that I'm strong or anything. Not all aggressive people are strong, keep that in your mind.  
  
So, this sums up that I am a sociopath. No point denying it. You may think otherwise, but it's my opinion that matters. End of story. Period.  
  
Of course, if I ever told Tsuzuki the way I thought of myself, he'd frown at me, then chide me for bringing myself down. He'd say I'm an enigma, not a sociopath.  
  
Tsuzuki thinks I like to put myself down. Actually, I put myself down by trying to think I'm not a sociopath. I'm being honest. I really believe I'm like that, all three of those words. I'm not an enigma—well, at least, after I got here—so I don't bother fooling myself with words that don't really describe me well. If I live under a delusion that I'm an enigma, I might as well go drown myself and start singing random campfire songs.  
  
If you don't believe me, that's your problem. I'm just defining myself the way I am. No exaggerations, no lies, and definitely no puns.  
  
$$$  
  
I got to watch all 13 episodes of Yami no Matsuei from a friend last weekend, and I was instantly hooked. Hisoka is just too adorable for words. I wanted to define him the way he was portrayed, no crap whatsoever. I'm not sure if I did it too well, but here's the result.  
  
There's a second chapter of this, which is less of Hisoka musing and more of Tsuzuki annoying him. Anyway, it centers around him being a sociopath.   
  
R&R! 


End file.
